Come Celebrate Enjoy

Celebrations celebrations celebrations, the one word I hate the most these days. No matter what one particular celebration is about, I would always try the bestest of my efforts to avoid it. But the irony is that being so different with others when it comes to celebrate, there is one thing that I find common between myself and others and that is the anxiety for the actual
moment of celebration to come. Other might want to enjoy the good times as soon and as much as possible but I, unlike others want this moment to come and pass by with as much pace as possible like a full speed express train on small platforms. There is a lot more that I find worth attention in this analogy. A fast moving train has the understanding that it will not be worth wasting its 10 seconds in a small platform where it will hardly get any passenger. I also, at times, feel myself inferior to the celebrations that other people enjoy.

I always have this fear of losing inside me through out my life. Losing dear ones, losing elections, failing in exams and a lot more than I can think of now. When I see somebody enjoying and
dacing in joy, I feel like go and dance with him but again the loser self inside me promptly suggests me that this happiness and fun will not last forever and you will not be able to take it positively when you are out of the trance.

To others it might seem being in an state of depression or talking like an out and out loser but I take it as an school of thought made by myself in an long journey of experiences and it tastes to me like the juices of all events and incidents I have been through.